Keeping Your Cool--Tips on How to Maintain Civil During Your Divorce

            Divorce is oftentimes the most stressful event in a person’s life. With emotions running at an all-time high and intense pain clouding judgment, many people find themselves expressing their stress in very negative ways. Your actions will not only harm you, but your case may be put in jeopardy causing your family to suffer as a result of your anger. Certain behaviors must be avoided in order to support your legal case, save you money, and prevent any unnecessary emotional trauma. 

Find a Safe Place to Vent--Keep Your Feelings Off of Facebook

            Though originally created to bring people together, social media can be permanently damaging to relationships. To some, social media is an outlet to dispose of negative emotions and harsh words without the consequences of a face-to-face confrontation. In a divorce, social media is a dangerous place; one negative post directed at your spouse can and will be held against you by the opposing party. Ensure your innocence by finding a healthy and safe place to vent your emotions. 

Do Not Let Your Emotions Win

            Like social media, targeting your spouse over the phone via angry calls, voicemails, and text messages can be detrimental to your case. Any ill-tempered message or voice recording can suggest you as the instigator in the relationship’s downfall and can leave permanent emotional scars on everyone involved in the divorce. 

Be Aware When Children Are Around

            Emotions are heightened whenever children are involved in a divorce. In an already confusing and emotionally damaging time, children should not suffer due to their parents’ verbal frustrations. Avoid speaking to children about their other parent in a negative light and never ask a child to choose a side. Choosing to put the children’s needs before you own will help create an emotionally healthy future for them and will promote the possibility for healthy co-parenting. 

Do Not Try to Spite Your Spouse

            Although it is understandable to feel intense emotions during the divorce process, it is important to leave the past in the past and focus on the future ahead. Do not become consumed with anger and contempt towards your spouse, as this will only exacerbate the issue at hand. Open communication and mutual respect towards one another provide a solid foundation for a civil divorce and helps to establish healthy personal growth after all the paperwork is signed.  

            Although nobody wins in a divorce, following these suggestions will greatly increase your chance for success at rebuilding your life once the dust settles. Maintaining your composure online, in person, and around your children will alleviate any unwanted conflict and encourage healthy relationships moving forward.

How We Can Help

            Having the right advocate for both you and your family can make all the difference in maintaining civility during a divorce. Our firm is ready to help guide you through this emotional and stressful time in your life. Contact the attorneys at Smith Strong, PLC by calling one of our offices at (804) 325-1245 (Richmond) or (757) 941-4298 (Williamsburg).

Editorial Assistance by: Isabella Cruz

H. Van Smith
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Trusted Virginia Family Law Attorney Serving Richmond to Williamsburg