Shared parenting can be ideal for the children. After all, in nearly all cases, the children want to spend as much time as they can with both their parents. However, not having sole custody poses certain challenges as well, some of which relate to differing lifestyles and parenting techniques. If you are having a problem that you don’t know how to handle regarding shared parenting, a divorce lawyer can help. The following is some general advice for handling a few issues that may arise.
Readjustment and Decompression
When a child has been with one parent and then changes households, a period of readjustment is often necessary. This is particularly true if the parenting techniques or lifestyle are significantly different between households. A child who has been in a relatively unstructured environment, for instance, may have difficulty readjusting at first to being with a more structured parent. The child may, in fact, have appreciated the freedom he or she felt in the other household, and resent the return to structure.
An attorney might suggest that if the child acts out or misbehaves while readjusting, you simply provide him or her some space for a few hours, preferably in the child’s bedroom. It is important, though, that you make it clear you are not punishing the child.
If You See Problems With the Other Parent’s Handling of the Children
If is very common for divorced parents to disagree on how to raise children. Such matters as rewards, punishment, homework and play schedules, etc. can be matters of a great deal of contention. Family courts are not interested in hearing about minor complaints you may have about the other parent. However, if you feel that the health or well-being of the children is potentially at issue, you should keep a log of any incidents you become aware of. This will provide the court with evidence of the problem in case action becomes necessary.
For instance, let’s say you have reason to believe the other parent drinks when taking care of the children. If your beliefs have some foundation, such as the children report this to you, write it down in the log. Another example of the type of information you will want to log is if the other parent does not restrain the children in seat belts or purchases a bicycle without also buying safety gear.
Get Professional Help
Ultimately, you need to be able to differentiate between minor disagreements regarding child rearing and matters that can place the children at risk. If you are experiencing a problem with shared parenting or have another family law concern, contact an experienced divorce lawyer.