Weathering the Storm of Divorce

divorce lawyer in Richmond, VAYour divorce lawyer is keenly aware of how emotionally taxing the divorce process can be.  The following are some tips to help you weather the storm of change that divorce brings:

Take Care of Your Children

This is your most important job. Make sure your children’s needs are met. As much as possible, protect them from the stress of the divorce. Keeping a positive attitude in the presence of your children has the added benefit of keeping you focused on something positive—something other than the grind of the divorce process.

Hang on to Your Job

During this time of transition, your job is more important than it ever has been. Tell your employer that your marital relationship is in flux, but that you will do whatever is necessary to make sure your employment relationship remains sound. If you are unhappy in your job, try not to make any rash decisions. Your unhappiness could be just a byproduct of your divorce. If, after some time has passed, you are still unhappy in your job, begin a systematic search for new employment. Be sure to respect your current employer—give proper notice, and don’t burn any bridges on your way out.

Hang on to Your Friends

A divorce often reveals your true friends. Some “friends” will be awkward and will distance themselves from you. Let them go. Hold tight to the true friends who stand by you and support you.

Know When to Ask for Help

It takes most people about a year to begin to recover from a divorce. Some people take less time, some take longer. If, however, some time has passed and you still feel “stuck” or unable to cope with your everyday life, seek professional help.

Handling Advice from Others

Divorce is stressful, and our families provide necessary comfort. During your divorce, keep your family close to you, as your family members can be your best allies. Still, even the most close-knit family will have some degree of conflict when one member goes through a divorce.  

Weathering the storm of divorceAny issues you may believe that you have with your family right now could simply be a manifestation of how you feel about divorcing your spouse.  It could be that your family members would like to defend you no matter the cost, but you should be cautious about doing so because it might not be the best approach.  Remember that their advice about what you should or should not do might not be in your best interests or it might not be what is best for your kids.  Whatever advice your family members do give you, you should carefully consider and discuss with an attorney before following it.

Treating Your Spouse with Respect

Treat your spouse respectfully during divorce, especially if you have children together.  Without a basic willingness to respect your spouse, there is a good chance that the divorce will have a long-term damaging impact on your children. Remember that you and your spouse will forever be parents so you will have to have some sort of relationship because of your children.  If you do something to hurt your ex-spouse, then it could ultimately hurt your children. 

Take Care of Your Finances Properly

Do not spend all of your money on luxuries.  Pay your car note so that you have transportation to work.  Make your house payment if you can.  If you are unable to make your house payment, notify your spouse so that it will become a joint problem.  Do the same thing for your other bills.  However, any money you do have should go to protect you and your children first, then your assets, and last, your credit rating.  If you are not sure how to manage certain financial issues, discuss this with your attorney.

H. Van Smith
Trusted Virginia Family Law Attorney Serving Richmond to Williamsburg