Growing Spiritually After Divorce

    Divorce tests your relationships with those around you - your former spouse, your children, and your community. One relationship you might have depended on throughout your divorce is your relationship with God.


    If you are a believer in God’s faith, divorce can be troublesome on your soul. You might question your relationship with God, repeatedly asking “Why me?” Divorce changes your life, but also gives you an opportunity to grow with God. You can build an equally happy, or exceedingly better life, with God’s guidance. Your spirituality can be renewed.


    During your divorce, you probably prayed often. Don’t be discouraged because your prayers might not have been answered: God heard your prayers and was setting you up for something better in life. Your pain caused by your divorce might cause you to see God differently, but God has not changed - He is still there watching over you.

God Wants You

    It is important to remember and believe God wants you. When people divorce and need a religious community, they are often ostracized by those who once supported and raised them up in faith. Members of your church community might be judgmental and you might feel personal shame. Remember that a religious community is about your relationship with God, and God will never stop wanting you.

Spiritual Journey: Start Where You Are

    When you pray, tell God how you feel. Tell God if you are fearful, angry, happy, or feel guilt. Approach God with humility and tell him how you feel. Open up to him on a deep, personal level. Ask God what he wants you to learn from your divorce and to send a sign of his ever-lasting presence over your life. Look for this sign - He is always with you.

Remain Thankful For All God Does For You

    Despite your feelings of anger and grief, remember to thank God for all that he has given you. Although being thankful will not heel your pain, but the process of thanking God for all He has done for you will help you remember all of the good things in life that God has provided.

Practice Forgiveness

    You are probably holding onto lots of anger and trying to blame others for your divorce. Forgive those who have wronged you and those who have caused you pain. Forgiveness is a step towards letting go of your anger towards others.

    Forgiveness comes easier if you ask God to forgive you, even if you have done nothing wrong. However, God will always grant you forgiveness, and by desiring God’s forgiveness, your spirituality is catapulted into a new realm through spiritual growth.

    Throughout your divorce process, God is with you. He is watching over you and guiding you towards a new chapter of your life. Allow your divorce to transform you spiritually and grow in your relationship with God. Your spirituality is yours, and yours only. Your divorce might take many things from you, but it cannot take your relationship with God. God will be there for you, providing a powerful sense of peace that the world and those around you cannot give.

H. Van Smith
Trusted Virginia Family Law Attorney Serving Richmond to Williamsburg
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